Law Have Mercy!

The Power of Intentional Parenting

• Chaz Roberts • Season 4 • Episode 70

Share episode

Send us a text

What does it take to raise healthy, resilient children while succeeding in business and maintaining your own wellbeing? Kane Moore, business leadership coach and dedicated father, dives into this question with refreshing honesty and practical wisdom.

The conversation begins with youth sports, where Kane challenges the growing trend of early specialization. "I am a big proponent of playing all the sports," he explains, noting the critical window until age 14 for developing overall athleticism. Rather than pushing children into year-round baseball or soccer, Kane advocates for balanced participation that develops complete athletes without overwhelming family life. He shares the powerful parenting philosophy that guides his decisions: "I love you enough to do the harder thing" – whether that means packing nutritious lunches instead of allowing processed tournament food or limiting screen time despite protests.

Kane's personal health practices offer equally valuable insights. His daily ritual of consuming 28 ounces of water before coffee has transformed his energy levels and mental clarity. "If I'd pick one of these two to just drink, if I drink coffee I'm not gonna have as much energy and I'm not going to feel as good. If I drink water, I will have more energy, I'll be more alert and I will feel better." Rather than pursuing perfect nutrition, he recommends consistent small improvements: "It's not what you do every now and then, but what you do regularly that adds up."

The conversation shifts to leadership principles that apply equally in business and parenting. Kane identifies improved communication as the foundation of effective leadership, beginning with understanding your own narrative. "We speak to ourselves in our heads more than anybody else speaks to us," he notes, explaining how this internal dialogue shapes our ability to lead others. True listening – not to respond but to understand – creates trust and allows leaders to communicate with greater impact using fewer words.

Whether you're struggling with parenting decisions, health habits, or business leadership challenges, this episode offers practical wisdom for creating positive ripple effects across all areas of life. Ready to take ownership of your outcomes? Kane's insights might be exactly what you need to hear.

You can watch most full episodes of Law Have Mercy on YouTube!

For more FREE legal tips, check out our social channels:
Instagram - @chazrobertslaw
Facebook - Chaz Roberts Law
TikTok - @chazrobertslaw
LinkedIn - Chaz Roberts

If you are in need of legal guidance, visit our website: https://www.chazrobertslaw.com/

This show is co-produced by Carter Simoneaux of AcadianaCasts Network, Chaz H. Roberts of Chaz Roberts Law and Kayli Guidry Bonin of Beau The Agency, and Laith Alferahin.

Chaz Roberts:

Today's episode, I'm bringing on my good friend, kane Moore. He is a friend. I coach his son in baseball. He actually helps me coach. He's a business leadership coach. He is into fitness and into leadership and he is so knowledgeable on so many different subjects. In talking to him I was like, dude, you'd be awesome on the podcast. You have so much value that you can share with our audience. And so, without further ado, welcome to the podcast, mr Cain.

Kane Moore:

Chaz. Thank you, man, I appreciate it.

Chaz Roberts:

Not sure that all those accolades are quite at that level, but hey, you and I do get in some deep conversations and I'm all for it and excited about this we we had coffee to kind of talk about the podcast and some of the things we recover and we looked at our watches and both of us had run over and we're like dude, we gotta go.

Kane Moore:

All right, it was just scratching the surface, but we gotta go yeah, I could see us getting cut off here today and being like, hey, we're gonna have to do another one. Whether or not people want to listen or not, I don't know, but you and you and I, we enjoy this.

Chaz Roberts:

Yeah, I'll just listen to it on repeat.

Kane Moore:

Yeah, you and I both.

Chaz Roberts:

So we met actually I didn't know you and you signed your son up to play on our travel baseball team slam and we've been. You know that was about a year and a half ago and, um, that's been a first of all. Kane's son, dom, is awesome. He's a great kid, a great athlete, super respectful, and I don't think you were like all the way into travel ball you were kind of testing the waters and then you heard about us and you ended up joining. How has that experience been playing quote unquote travel ball, although we don't travel more than 30, 40 minutes away?

Kane Moore:

Yeah, yeah, I would say that, as you I think you and the coaches have said more of a tournament team, with local tournaments rather than traveling. It was something more developmental, a higher level of competitiveness, but also hasn't taken over our lives nor Dominic's life. I am a big proponent of and fan of playing all the sports. The thing that I've loved about the experience with the slam group is that I've seen it be more development of an athlete rather than hey, we're just making a baseball player here. I've seen it be something to where there's a lot of sharing of as much knowledge as we can bring, and I see you and the coaches being open to feedback and open to suggestion, and I've been fortunate and very thankful for all the guidance you guys have given for things that I can do at home with Dominic to help him.

Chaz Roberts:

Right, and that was kind of the plan. So Luke is obviously a multi-sport athlete too. We play four sports Heck he'd play seven if time permitted but we play five or maybe even six tournaments a year, which is really on the low end. You see teams out there playing 12 tournaments 13, 14, 15. And it really takes over sort of the family calendar right.

Kane Moore:

It can.

Chaz Roberts:

I have an older son who's not into that and we don't have babysitter help and all that stuff, so we have to drag him to the park Now. Luckily he's a good sport about it and he finds himself busy at the park, but it could really take over your life, if you allow it to.

Kane Moore:

Absolutely it can, absolutely it can, absolutely it can. And look, I'm as competitive as they come. And so it is that trying to find that balance of hey, how do we allow the kids to develop and go have fun with this and get to go do it and also, like you say, maintain that we get to still have a life with our entire family together?

Chaz Roberts:

How do you quiet the voices in your head when you say I know, if we played more baseball, Dominic could be better in baseball. How do you quiet that noise into specialization, even at his young age To?

Kane Moore:

be honest, chaz, I can't do it on my own. What I've learned is and I'm in no way, shape or form, great or perfect at this by any means but I think the thing that I try to do is surround myself with people that help me to keep things in perspective. I've also worked to try to take in media or consume other things that also help me to keep it in perspective that, hey, he's nine, they are nine. We're not trying to be the best of the best right now. That progress will come. As long as they enjoy it. Hey, remove the pressure that, remember this is still supposed to be fun for them. So it's, it's consciously trying to put myself in environments or around people that keep me grounded with that, because the easiest thing for me to do is go all in on something.

Chaz Roberts:

Yeah, and it's, it's very easy, it's easy and it's tempting, right? Yeah, because you know, if you, if you practice every single day baseball, if you give up the football, if you give up the basketball, you give up those other sports and just concentrate on one sport, you will be better at a younger age, right? For? A period of time for a period of time for a period.

Kane Moore:

That's the key word and, as you said, number one, at a younger age, as as a nine-year-old, a 10-year-old, 11, maybe even up to 12. Yeah, he may be a better baseball player then because you have gotten all these reps at it. Yeah, however, past that, if you listen to, if you listen to physical therapists and other doctors and other things, what they are talking about, what they're seeing with the injuries, the overuse of one thing because of a specialization, specialization in a sport at a young age where they just use a certain muscle group, a certain ligament group, these other things, and they overuse it then without giving it enough rest, without then developing other motor systems that are required for other sports that actually can supplement and support that. But reminding myself, I try to remind myself of all these, and having people like you in my life is a big help for us, for me to do that.

Chaz Roberts:

Yeah Well, I just talk because I'm trying to convince myself that that's the right move. Right, because I'm competitive too right, and so I'm like Cain. This is what I think Neuroplasticity develops. You only have till the age of 14 to develop all around athleticism. You have the rest of your life to develop a skill. I learned golf at 35, right. To develop a skill. I learned golf at 35, right. So you've seen the NBA players that couldn't make a jump shot and they get to the NBA and they're 6'10 and they're athletic and they teach them how to shoot. You can develop skills the rest of your life. The experts are saying from the media that I've consumed that you have until about the age of 14 to develop all around athleticism and so you want to play as many sports as you can.

Chaz Roberts:

You mentioned the overuse injuries. That's a big concern. I've talked to orthopedics and I'm lucky in the work that I do as a personal injury lawyer, I have access to orthopedics. And I asked him. He said dude, I'm doing UCL repairs on 10, 11, 12 year olds. That is staggered, like Tommy John surgery on children. Yeah, right, and that's. That's a shame.

Kane Moore:

It is. It is, I agree, um, and look, not to say that anybody's at fault for it. However, now that more and more information is becoming available about these things, I think the thing that you and I try to do with each other is challenge ourselves to make sure we're paying attention.

Chaz Roberts:

Yeah, Well, you get caught up. Yeah, you get caught up. A Saturday, sunday, it's a good game. You want to beat the, the crosstown rivals. You get caught up in the moment and you lose your better judgment, and so it's good to surround yourself with good men and women that can keep perspective.

Kane Moore:

Hey, this is a long game.

Chaz Roberts:

This is a marathon, this is not a sprint, that's right. But look, I I've been thinking about travel ball and again, I don't like, let's say, tournament ball. My buddy asked me. I said look, a lot of people that that shit on it on Tik TOK, it's. It's because they're.

Chaz Roberts:

They're they're thinking that everyone is delusional enough to have their kid play D1 ball or MLB ball, major League Baseball, and they compare it to Central America where it's all about skills, it's all about train, train, train, very few games, train, train, train, whereas tournament ball, travel ball, it's games with few practices and you're playing multiple games on the weekend. I said but you got to take the delusional people out the equation. What about the kids that? Just, they like the cool uniforms, they like playing on turf, they like seeing all their friends and walk up music and all that. It's just a good experience. Friends and walk up music and all that, it's just a good experience. I play golf not to get money out of it. I'm not going pro anytime soon, I just enjoy playing. And so my point is these kids are playing a better, they're playing a game for fun and it's a better product. The tournament ball system is fun. What's wrong with that?

Kane Moore:

I agree with you, I think, and it can be fun. Now, the one thing I would encourage people to do is ask themselves is the group that they are signing up for, that they're signing their child up for and their family up for, is that group? Do they have the mindset that you want to have for your child with it? Hey, I want them to have a good experience with this. I want them to get to develop, have good relationships with it, have good role models around it, and not only in their teammates, but in their coaches and the family, the other families that they're with, so that way they can have that, because as long as there is that, then yeah, they've got it. They, the kids, love it. I mean, dominic asked me dad, do we have a tournament this weekend, and is it? He's?

Chaz Roberts:

he's bummed when they don't yeah so yeah, absolutely I'm making an assumption, that's a great point. I'm making an assumption, that's fun, because we have fun yeah, that's right yeah, and so maybe in some teams it's not always fun.

Kane Moore:

Right, it's a chore yeah, and I would say, just like anything, it can be what and that's look, whether that's with travel ball or um, I hope I'm fortunate to get to help coach and I know you do uh, my son's flag football team. It can be with any any of these sports, or jujitsu or whatever that your kids do. It can become too much of a job for them in some way, shape or form. So checking in with them, I completely agree with you. But when they do find it and I think we're fortunate to see the group of kids light up and love the weekends that they've got tournaments, love to be at the park together, love to get to go out in the field and compete. Now do they like? Do they like it if they're losing?

Chaz Roberts:

maybe not quite so much, but overall they want to be there do you think that kids, since you're a coach as well, do you think that kids should have firm coaches at a young age? Eight, nine years old, firm, but loving, I think, because I'm old school.

Kane Moore:

I think you would know that I'm much more old school. I don't think there's anybody that's ever been around me as a You're just intense.

Kane Moore:

As a dad or a coach that would say, yeah, kane's a softie and just easy going with stuff. I am a more intense and disciplined style coach, but loving. I hope that it's an encouraging yeah style of that. I think that kids benefit more from it. I think kids thrive on structure and boundaries and without that they don't know what to do. Without that they're not sure where the boundaries are and or how to be successful in that endeavor or even in other things. Without that it becomes chaotic for them and I believe then they begin to lack trust and belief in things, to lack trust and belief in things. I think kids are yearning to see somebody that they can look to, that they believe is in control of a situation, that when things go sideways or when they are confused about something, there's somebody that they believe they can look to to help guide them through it.

Chaz Roberts:

That's my belief, were you the one that told me about the basketball court on the top of the building.

Kane Moore:

No.

Chaz Roberts:

Okay. So this is the great analogy for kids. You take a basketball court, you put it on top of a building, think of a skyscraper. You put a basketball court, no fence. How hard are the kids going to play?

Kane Moore:

Not very hard, right, they're going to fall off. Yeah, they're scared.

Chaz Roberts:

Now you put a 12-foot fence around the basketball court and you say now play basketball. They're going to play to the fullest, absolutely.

Kane Moore:

Right, yeah, because you've removed that fear of them getting hurt, so to speak, and falling.

Chaz Roberts:

You've created boundaries. You've created structure. Kids thrive in structure, in structure. Sometimes when I, when I jump on luke and I say, hey, he's like, he looks at me with with just a look of satisfaction and like relief, like all right, you've given me permission, let's go, I would say in not only giving permission, chas, but I've watched you, um, and something I've seen with kids too is you've also brought a focus for him.

Kane Moore:

Then, with with a boundary. I mean there's so much that the kids could be paying attention to their buddies behind the dugout or on the next field. There's some song, there's I'm not sure what to do on this play, who knows what. But not only have you given him structure, but you've brought him like hey, this is the thing to focus on, this is the thing to take care of there. So like you've helped them to bring clarity to it. You know, rather than it them just having so much going on their head, that that it is a challenge for them to go. I can't handle all these things, but when you give me one dad or coach, okay, I can handle that, I can do that one thing yeah, wow, we'll talk about baseball for the next two hours, but I want to it's baseball.

Kane Moore:

But I think I think the thing we both get passionate about is more than that. It's it's it's life and it's helping it's it's it's it's a way that we get to raise our boys and our family, which we care immensely about, immensely about.

Chaz Roberts:

I'm looking at your water bottle. You do something cool. Every single day you take a picture of that water bottle with an inspirational quote. Give me the background with that.

Kane Moore:

So seven years ago I started to look. I love next to it, next to it. You see, coffee, I love coffee. There's probably my favorite drink in the world is just black coffee.

Chaz Roberts:

I'm three cups in by the way.

Kane Moore:

Yeah, look, this is my third. So, however, I found when I would wake up and I would just go straight to coffee, like I first of all and this was when I was younger, so I had more energy probably didn't feel quite as good and it didn't really energize me too much. And I had read things about water and my dad was always hey, drink water, make sure you're hydrated. I started for some reason and I don't know why the original thing was, but I started to challenge myself I'm like, all right, all right, I'm gonna drink a blender bottle, 28 ounces of water every morning when I get up, before I have anything else, before I have coffee or anything else. And I started to just notice that it was I. I felt better and I had more energy. Matter of fact, if I'd pick one of these two to just drink, if I can only drink one in the morning, if I drink coffee I'm not gonna have as much energy and I'm not going to feel as good. If I drink water, I will have more energy, I'll be more alert and I will feel better.

Kane Moore:

In the podcast, the experts say your adenosine system is not fully up and awake and you need electrolytes and other things. As we sleep, we get dehydrated. Our body as it repairs itself, it releases toxins and other things, so the water helps to flush those toxins out. It helps you to hydrate more. So that way you've got more clarity and things like that.

Kane Moore:

And without those, without that stuff, that foundation in system, coffee really not going to have the effect that a lot of people want for it. I love the taste of it, not always the effect, but I know there's a byproduct of effect. So I started to just do it on my own. And then, I don't know, five years ago, when I started to first take a picture of that thing every morning, the intent was to encourage people to do the same. That's it. There's no pressure, no place at all of coming from oh hey, I think I know better or anything like that. I saw social media out there as a place that people consumed it and I wanted it to be. I wanted there to be something somewhere that would be encouraging and valuable, and so I started to just go like, as I was drinking in the morning, I would. There's, I'm a planner, I'm an overthinker, without a doubt.

Chaz Roberts:

You're in good company.

Kane Moore:

There was never a morning where I was drinking it, that I wasn't thinking of something to do for the day, and so, as I began to do, I was like what if I put, like whatever my thought is in my head that morning, the thing that I'm thinking about or my intention I want to bring to the day, or something I learned recently, or something I'm trying to remember or relearn, and just put it there?

Chaz Roberts:

But you're also making yourself accountable.

Kane Moore:

That's it. I am making myself accountable, and so.

Chaz Roberts:

I'm not going to be a hypocrite, I'm going to put it out there and I'm going to live it.

Kane Moore:

I'm going to put it out there I'm going to live it.

Chaz Roberts:

Yeah, I actually heard it was Dr Oz, who I'm sure is just the foremost expert on everything medically related.

Chaz Roberts:

He had a great point. He was like look, start with water, don't waste your. Whatever the chemical process that happens with caffeine, don't waste it. When you're doing your rote things throughout the day, wait till you get to the office, chug water because you could put your clothes on. You don't need caffeine to put your clothes on. You don't need caffeine to brush your teeth. You don't need caffeine to make your hair. You don't need caffeine for your drive. Wait and have your first cup of coffee at nine o'clock 930 when you start your day at your office. And I thought that was great advice.

Kane Moore:

I don't heed that advice just because I love the taste of coffee. That's it, yeah.

Chaz Roberts:

But it is good advice, right yeah?

Kane Moore:

No, I'll tell you, I view coffee as a reward. Coffee's my reward after I've had my certain amount of water.

Chaz Roberts:

Well damn, I'm rewarding the heck out of myself this morning.

Kane Moore:

I mean bingo right here.

Chaz Roberts:

But look, I got to tell you Latham tell you something about that cup. He's worried about the plasticities or whatever in the, in the, in the cup the BPAs. Why do you think it's important to share valuable information to the public?

Kane Moore:

I think we're all consuming things every day when I say things, some type of information, knowledge, media or hearing things. The easiest thing for people to hang on and remember oftentimes is and I think there's an overabundance of it out there, unfortunately is negativity or bad things, and so I was just my intent and hope was that, hey, give them one extra bit of encouragement, One small example of something positive, of reassuring or motivational, whatever it is, I guess, because I wanted it and so I just wanted to like.

Chaz Roberts:

So I put it there I don't. You make the world a better place when you share something positive, right? It's a butterfly flap in the wings right and creating a tidal wave across the world. I use my social platform in saying I'm going to give legal education for free.

Chaz Roberts:

I was blessed to come from a single parent home, a small town. I was blessed enough to get an education. I've jumped the hurdles. Here it is. I have this information. I want to share it to me and my family 25 years ago that didn't have access to this information.

Chaz Roberts:

But in the process me just sharing my life I realize I'm having probably a bigger impact, not on the legal information, but just showing people how I live and how I'm a good father and trying to live life the right way. I love that and that's why I share my kids and the things that I do with my kids and hope that it inspires. You know it could have maybe inspired my father to be a better father, you know, 40 years ago. And I'm trying to reach that person and if I make the world better place, even if I just affect one person, I could be, I could be, I could be everything to one person and that creates the next doctor that changes the world, or the next scientist that cures cancer or something right, and so that's why I feel like what is our impact here? Right?

Kane Moore:

And I would challenge you to say, even if it isn't the next scientist or doctor, what if you just impact one person, that because of that they then get to go live a happy and fulfilled life? Yeah, how about?

Chaz Roberts:

that yeah.

Kane Moore:

It doesn't, I think. Look as ambitious as I am, I think the thing I'm trying to do and I had somebody challenged me actually asked me on this little little while ago like, hey, do you unplug? Can you unplug and just kind of be, and I said, actually I'm getting better and better at that. I can you? You talk about sports practices and things like that? I don't look at my phone at all there. Yeah, for two hours I'm doing nothing but focused on my son and in in the other, the glow state that's it, um.

Kane Moore:

So yeah, like, how can you? How can you impact that? As you were talking there, it made me think of another, another probably reason that I'd forgotten about this I was.

Kane Moore:

I am blessed beyond measure with the parents that I grew up with. Look, were they perfect? By no means. They gave every ounce of effort they ever could, though, and they did a fantastic job of setting my sister and I up with what I call just true life skills. They took care of themselves. They exercised my dad had a garden. They grew their own food. We ate full meals every night of vegetables, proteins and starches. They were home-cooked. We all sat around the table. They were there and involved in everything we did. They both worked.

Kane Moore:

They both worked full-time jobs as just blue-collar people, but my dad always was always teaching me things in the look Did he put a lot of pressure on and other things he did, but it was always with the right intentions. There was never any doubt that amount of love that we had from them, and I am unbelievably blessed with that, and I think, as I've, as I've grown up and other things I've come to know, like you shared. You grew up in a single parent household and other things, and your mom did a fantastic job of teaching you everything she knew but we can all benefit from. I mean, I learned from my friends' parents. You know these other things, and so I think some of the thing I also saw was that, hey, some of these life lessons that I was fortunate enough to know and learn, we weren't all there, and so how can I share some things that people can benefit from? I think that was that was also probably some of that the intent and inspiration behind it.

Chaz Roberts:

You're talking about nutrition. How important do you think eating good foods and exercise, and how important is that to be a productive person?

Kane Moore:

It's, it's probably it come, it's probably number two on the list of most important things you can do, behind number one being rest and sleep. That's it. It so sleep first, and most of us and I'm guilty at times- you struggle with sleep at all.

Chaz Roberts:

Have you struggled with sleep?

Kane Moore:

I didn't used to prioritize sleep enough. I don't struggle with it that much. Oh look, I struggle a lot more than I did when I was a kid. I mean, you know, kids sleep sound. There's no thoughts in their heads, no, but no, I'm all my. My wife would say I'm a great sleeper. She's a light sleeper. I could sleep through a lot of things most of the time. Um, so fortunately I don't.

Kane Moore:

But I also have learned over the years that, because of how important sleep is and the way I feel with it, I've also learned and tried to educate myself on what are the things I can do to help my sleep. How do I calm my mind? At what times do I eat and what things am I eating at different times? I try to drink a certain amount of water over the course of the day. I recognize that two hours before sleeping I should try to have a certain amount of water over the course of the day. I recognize that two hours before sleeping I shouldn't try to have my water consumed, otherwise I'm going to be up during the night more often because I have to you have to go to the bathroom. So I try to do things to prioritize it.

Kane Moore:

Yeah, how much sleep do you get a night I? The goal for me is about seven hours. That's that's the goal. From laying down in bed to when the alarm goes off, from like I shouldn't say late from from lights out, done talking with with the wife, to when the alarm goes off is seven hours. That's the goal.

Chaz Roberts:

How do you, in this world where everything is processed and people are cash strapped and people are cash-strapped.

Kane Moore:

How do you make good nutritional decisions? You begin small, don't try to go so big, Don't try to go perfect. And look, I've done that. Tried to go perfect and strict, and I know there's people that do it.

Chaz Roberts:

A $500 grocery bill later.

Kane Moore:

Yeah.

Chaz Roberts:

And half the stuff goes bad in the fridge.

Kane Moore:

There's the thing like, instead of all that, like what's one small thing you can make? How can you minimize the amount of sugar you take in what's you know? One less soda a day, or no soda, or I'm going to try to make sure I consume a certain volume of water, or a good nutritional thing? What are the small decisions that you can make that you can do consistently? It's not what you do every now and then, but what you do regularly. That adds up. It's like I indulge, I indulge a lot. I shouldn't say a lot, I indulge lot. I shouldn't say a lot. I indulge semi-regularly.

Kane Moore:

When you travel. You travel a good, I travel a good bit. I do these other things. Um, look, and not only that, but I've learned. If I want to connect with my family, I've got the kids are sitting down eating homemade cookies that my mom has made and sent down for him. Well, if I sit there and every night go, nope, nope, nope, not gonna have that, first of all, mom's not always gonna be there to make homemade cookies and send them, and then not like that, but like I'm missing out on the kids remembering that, hey, we, every now and then, we got, we got a treat and dad would eat a cookie with us. So what do you do the majority of the time? What are the small choices you make there? What's one less processed thing you have? What's instead of putting ranch with every bit of food you have and these other things like? How do you remove those small things that allow you to take in more nutrient dense foods with less overall? How do we?

Chaz Roberts:

stop eating fast food, right yeah, and everybody's cash strapped and are they're also time-strapped.

Kane Moore:

I think time-strap's the bigger thing. Time-strap's the bigger thing.

Chaz Roberts:

It kills me, dude, when my wife stops at McDonald's or Raising Cane's and I'm like gosh, we had them so good. And it's just like I kind of throw my hands up. Sometimes it's like, look, it's not kids. Actually I've heard several podcast experts like kids are so resilient, right, their bodies are just furnaces for calories. So calories in, calories out, it's not as big of a deal. But I don't want to create bad habits, right, so many kids, man. You look, if you go to a grocery store like I try not to go to walmart often but if you look at people's baskets of food and you see the food coloring, food dyed, kool-aids and cheese nibs and the glace, having an anxiety attack just thinking about it, yeah, I mean, just look at people's grocery carts. It is like it's sad.

Kane Moore:

It is sad I go back to how fortunate I have been is that they there's not, they're not being intentional with it, they just don't know. Yeah, and here's the thing. You want to go back to media and other things. What are the commercials put on things? There's, there's soda, it's it's. It's a whole bunch of businesses and companies that are trying to generate revenue, and so they will do. They will do what it takes to sell more of their product, and if that means sweetening it, then they're doing it. So there isn't a whole lot of information out there. There isn't nowhere near the amount of information out there to help people make better choices about these things and be informed on it, as there is just a whole bunch of information and propaganda out there to get people to buy a whole bunch of product for these companies.

Chaz Roberts:

They're starting to shine a light on it with make America healthy again and that kind of thing. But about a year ago I had an Instagram post. I saw a Barks root beer and I pulled it and it was an Instagram story I had and I flipped the lid on the back. I think it was like 60 is now marketed as a non-caffeine good alternative for kids because it doesn't have caffeine in it had more than the Barks Root Beer and I was like this is criminal, this is class action material.

Chaz Roberts:

Like this is diabetes in a can. Yep, this is overweight obesity. It's sickening man.

Kane Moore:

It is and unfortunately it's just become. It's become the norm now um so totally yeah, whereas and look you go and we're fighting that battle.

Chaz Roberts:

I know you bring snacks for your kids at the. I pack a lunch every tournament we go to but I mean you got all the food, the candy that it's like, and then you're. You're fighting other parents, decisions of the kids around you.

Kane Moore:

You are your kids? Look at feeling like they're.

Chaz Roberts:

They're left out, poor dom's eating a bag of almonds on the side and somebody's eating airheads right next to him. Probably luke. Sneak one in you know.

Kane Moore:

But look, you're right, luckily, for that's what Dom's been his whole life. So he just goes like, yeah, my dad's crazy Like this. I just know that this is what I do and this is where I'm at, and so it's okay for him. However, what I recognize is that for most of the other kids like they're looking at it, going, oh my gosh, that's terrible, and they feel punished by it. Terrible. And and they feel punished by it the one narrative that I try to have with dominic is I love you enough to do the harder thing.

Kane Moore:

Yeah, it's hard I love you enough to get up earlier and pack you a lunch make sandwiches I love you enough for you to look at me and go dad. But I want that and why can't I have that and I feel left out. I love you enough to say to you hey, I know like it's hard. The easier thing is for me to throw that in and just give it to you yeah there's no rebuttal with it.

Kane Moore:

There's no thing you don't. You know it's not a challenge to get you to finish it. That's the easier thing. The harder thing is to do to do the other stuff. But because I care about you that much and I recognize what this is doing for I believe, my belief is that what this is doing to program you for life is the right thing. Yeah, and it's like for you, chaz, when your alarm goes off in the morning and you're getting up to go for a long run, I'm sure over half the time you're sitting there going. Man, I'd just like to go back to sleep 98% of the time.

Kane Moore:

I know, but because you know what the down the road effects are, or just the later that day effects are on your mind, your body, your health, all these things you're willing to challenge yourself to do. That, I think then for me and I try to go on, but I'm big on parenting, to go on a tangent but or my narrative with the kids is always I love you enough to do this. There is no intent to be mean to you here with this. There is no intent at all to deprive you of things. I love you enough that I want to set you up for success and I want you to be healthy. There's enough information out there that dad is learning that we are consuming, that I try to educate myself with. That says this is the better thing for you.

Kane Moore:

And look, I I just talked about earlier my mom sends cookies for every one of their, every one of their birthdays, their homemade cookies. That she does. Do they eat them? Absolutely? Do the kids get desserts? Absolutely after they've had a nutritious meal? Yeah, does dom. Does dom get candy and other things? Yeah, he does every now and then now not near as much as most, but but it's not that they can't ever have it. It's teaching them how do you prioritize the healthy things, and once you have that nutritious food in you, then we can have these. That's the foundation.

Chaz Roberts:

Absolutely, I tell you know. You know you said that I have that conversation with my kids all the time when they want the iPads and I'm pulling Jake to go, I said Luke's outside already. I got to pull Jake and he's like you know, he'll say hurtful things to me because he's smart, right. He'll say I want to do. I said no, no, this is that ultimate act of love. Yeah, I can give you your iPad right now. That's easier and I can go live my life.

Kane Moore:

Yeah, I don't have to do anything with it. That thing will entertain you for 12 hours. They're engineered to do it.

Chaz Roberts:

I've been at work all day. I don't want to go outside any more than you do, nope, but we have to move our bodies. That's it. We have to move our bodies, and so I'm going to stop what I'm doing to to coach you up outside and spend time with you outside doing something healthy and productive in the sunshine, moving our bodies.

Kane Moore:

Yep, yep, and I'm going to help you not be, not be so ingrained and so so addicted to a screen, because that's a. That's a real thing. Now, they say the dopamine hits in. The new addiction is the screens. There's more and more information coming out about the detriment it is to people's health, their mental health, their physical health, all kinds of things.

Chaz Roberts:

I got to tell you I've given social media a break. I've probably been off of it for about a month, maybe two months now.

Kane Moore:

How do you feel I?

Chaz Roberts:

have an Opal app that blocks it. You can't break this app.

Kane Moore:

Really, I've tried.

Chaz Roberts:

Trust me, I've tried.

Kane Moore:

Really it's called Opal.

Chaz Roberts:

Take a deep breath. Opal O-P-A-L. It says take a deep breath. It. It says take a deep breath, like it'll say very condescending messages to me Like go for a walk dude, and it's funny, it responds.

Kane Moore:

You get to share that with me. I'll show you when we're done.

Chaz Roberts:

Yeah, and no FOMO. No, like even the healthy stuff that I consume on social media like business. But it keeps me in a constant state of oh, I got to do this, I got to build my business, I got to do that, I'm missing out. I got to go run, I got to do, I got to go work out and it's unhealthy and I and so and I'm going to. I'm a 40 year old man. I can only imagine an eight year old and a 10 year old child what it's going to. So I've been taking a break. I don't miss that at all, but I do want to get to business leadership because I want free advice. While I got you on my podcast, what's the number one thing you see when you meet with a business leader? What are the common problems that you see that they're having where you can assist?

Kane Moore:

I think, something that I see is an opportunity to improve communication and understanding, starting first with themselves, but then, when they communicate better with themselves, understand themselves better, they're able to communicate better and understand and lead their teams better. We speak to ourselves in our heads more than anybody else speaks to us, or more than any, or more than we speak to anybody else ever by a magnitude and that's real bad for me and you it is, yeah, classic overthinker, yeah, exactly, and I mean so, whatever it is, whatever that narrative is in our head, our natural or our built-in narrative there's always probably room to optimize that and improve that.

Kane Moore:

So we start there and then help. But a lot of times I say start there, like I say it's understanding that narrative. Until we think about it, until we think about our thinking and our mindset and the way we think, we'll probably just run, we probably just go and look. There's a ton of successful people that do fantastic and do and have an overall good mindset but like, maybe aren't aware of it and so therefore can't exploit it and can't help the people that they lead at their company to grow theirs, to have a growth mindset, to have a positive um value adding train of thoughts. So I think the biggest thing I see is an opportunity for improved communication and understanding, which leads to better trust. I think when teams trust the leader, they get on board, they follow through on things. They get on board, they follow through on things. They want to do a better job.

Kane Moore:

The leader I see, with the opportunity for them, and those that do best and have the most success, are those that can paint a picture or a vision of where they want to go and where their teams are going with them and how they all benefit from this. They don't sit there and lie and say, hey, this is all going to be easy and this is all going to be great. No, it's not that. But the end result is going to be worthwhile and here's how you're going to benefit from it. But the end result is going to be worthwhile and here's how you're going to benefit from it. But if they don't understand that, when they struggle to understand that themselves completely, it's hard to help all the others that they lead and those around them to understand and see that and see why that they go through the challenge of a change in process or a change in methodology. Without that vision, without that understanding of where we're going, I think it makes it hard to keep people on that journey and help them to understand the benefit to them.

Chaz Roberts:

I think for a long time I was operating without a vision, and so I certainly wasn't communicating that vision to anyone else, because you know how it is as a small business. I was just one transaction at a time.

Chaz Roberts:

Oh, we got money in the bank account. I guess we make payroll this week. We're doing good work, our clients love us. But I didn't have a vision of hey, we are trying to help people, we are trying to grow the firm that way we can help more people. And here's what we're going to do to exercise that vision. And if you guys help me along that vision, you will benefit. And this is how you will benefit. You will do worthwhile work, you will make more money, you will blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah. Probably took me 10 years to get to that point, absolutely.

Kane Moore:

It takes most of us that, because what I find, what I see, we're all trained to do tasks, to do things, to succeed, to earn a certain grade, to perform to a certain level.

Kane Moore:

We're all trained to do that throughout life, throughout all the I mean throughout school. You're tested on things, on knowledge, on processes, on information. What I find is a big opportunity for improvement for all of us is to is is the eq side of things, the emotional intelligence, the, the understanding of ourselves and our mindset and in our thoughts, because while we're trained to do things, so you went out and you could physic, you could go do, you could go be a lawyer, you were trained to be a lawyer and by so you could go do that. But, like you said, maybe you didn't really recognize why am I doing this and what actually? What's my end goal with this? What do I really want?

Kane Moore:

We go through most of life we don't get like while you're a young kid, you ask what you want and then all of a sudden you get into an adolescent and then a young adult and people stop asking you what you want because there's just things you just have to do. There's bills to be paid, there's money you have to make money to be able to do it, you just have to do things. And you get to a point in life where you're going like you're just, you're just reacting because you have to, because to keep up and to keep your head above water and to pay bills and to be able to do these other things, like you're just doing because you have to, whereas until somebody sits down, a lot of times, until you sit down with somebody else or yourself, or a mentor or a, I've got a great group of friends that ask me these types of questions of why are you doing what you're doing? What's the real goal here? I want to make money, okay, but why? What are you doing what you're doing? What's the real goal here? I want to make money, okay, but why? What are you doing with it? What's the benefit to you? And so you pull back those layers and I think the opportunity for a lot of leaders, I think, is to clarify why are you doing what you're doing?

Kane Moore:

What's your reasoning? Start with the why. Start with the. Why have you read that book? Yeah, I have Simon Sinek. Start with why yeah.

Chaz Roberts:

Yeah, and you can figure out what motivates each person right and how you can meet them there or help them achieve their goals.

Kane Moore:

Yeah.

Chaz Roberts:

It's a great book, yeah.

Kane Moore:

Yeah. So because you're not all this stuff is going to be sunshine and rainbows. There's going to be a lot of difficulty with it. If you're wise, strong enough, you'll take the next step. The next step Doesn't that mean all of them, but like but. If you're not sure of that, if you're not full in and a believer of that, why would you keep on challenging yourself and torturing yourself at times?

Chaz Roberts:

How do you teach people how to be better listeners?

Kane Moore:

I think, somehow help them to understand the value in it. I think, demonstrate it. Demonstrate it first by being a better listener yourself. Demonstrate it and help them to see the value they get from it. Help them to see that actually, by them listening more, they can actually get more of what they want. They actually can get a better message across to people. You can create a foundation of trust, of understanding, and with that you can say less but create more value. When you're a better listener, you actually understand what the people that you're communicating with, what they want to hear and what they don't want to hear you understand. Well, they understand that part of it. So there's no, I don't need to talk to them about that. Why would I say things they already understand and they already know?

Chaz Roberts:

But you can't get there unless you actually listen, Unless you really listen like really listen.

Kane Moore:

You're not listening just to respond, you're listening to understand.

Chaz Roberts:

I've actually been working on that listening and not be so solution oriented. I actually heard recently that when, when you're always giving a solution and I'm mr, fix it. That's what I do for a living right.

Kane Moore:

I'm talking to dude, I'm a mechanical engineer by by college school. Like yeah, like everything I want everything I was taught was to fix things. And look, I was brought up to be constantly fixing things. It is apt, it is. The thing I have to work on the most is to not be a fixer. A fixer.

Chaz Roberts:

Cause my wife doesn't want a solution. She just wants me to listen. Yeah, and I heard recently that the reason we hurry up and offer a solution is because we're scared, we're insecure that if we listen more, it's going to bring up things that we're insecure about right, and it's going to like, if I start talking about hey, let me tell you some problems in my business and I'm thinking about changing my brand and I'm doing this, you might start thinking that you need to change your brand, but you don't want to have that hard conversation because that requires work. So you'll just cut me off and give me the solution. We can move on and talk about something else.

Chaz Roberts:

It's actually insecurity that you always feel the need or you're time crunched.

Kane Moore:

But even if it's time crunch, it comes down to an insecurity hey, we're not going to get there quick enough. I'm nervous about that. I think another thing, too, is go back to what we've been trained in school and things you were always asked and taught in the testing. You're supposed to have the answer. Life has taught us that. Hey, it needs us to have the answer. I hear people talk about toxic masculinity. Well, these men that feel like to be an authority figure to be respected. I've got to be knowledgeable. I have to have the answer for people. I think the truth is what I've seen. Some of the men I respect, some of the people I respect most, they're okay to not always have the answer.

Kane Moore:

They actually are okay. They are secure enough in themselves to let the other people have the answer and shine.

Chaz Roberts:

That's awesome, kane, we're wrapping up. Give me your best business or leadership book.

Kane Moore:

Give me your best business or leadership book. I think the one I enjoy the most and something I try to live by the most is one by an ex-Davie Seale named Jocko Willink, called Extreme Ownership. I think when you own your opportunities and the things in life that are within your realm and sphere of control, you give yourself the opportunity to have the best results. It's not always easy to own the positive, the negative, the good, the bad, everything. However, when you own it, it puts you in control of your life. When you deflect ownership or responsibility, it gives everybody else and everything else control of you, your life and the results you get. When you own it, you get to control your future, you get to affect it.

Chaz Roberts:

So that book has been fantastic, lath can tell you this when we have issues here at the firm, no matter how small, I say it's my fault, my fault, it's like well, chaz, how small I say it's my fault, my fault, it's like well, chaz, no, that's I said it's my fault. I didn't put better, I didn't put good enough systems in place that this happened. People will make mistakes. My systems failed, the supervision failed. I hired the supervisor, I hired the. I didn't properly train. It's my fault. So I'm like Chaz, that's not fair man, it's my fault. Extreme ownership yeah, I love it, man Kane. Thank you so much dude.

Kane Moore:

I enjoyed this conversation, bro Heck. Yeah, appreciate it, man. All right, give me a clap.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Chaz Roberts

Host