Law Have Mercy!

Trade Stress for Success: Real-Life Strategies for a Balanced Lifestyle

• Chaz Roberts, AcadianaCasts • Season 4 • Episode 50

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Is work-life balance just a myth? Join me as I explore this provocative question in our latest solo episode of Law Have Mercy. Inspired by a handful of people who have shared their insights with me, I break down my life into three essential buckets: family, health, and wealth, sharing personal stories and practical strategies to maintain equilibrium among them. From the importance of family, including close friends, to the vital role of physical activities like golf and yoga, and the demanding yet rewarding world of professional life, I illustrate how these buckets are interconnected. Neglect one, and the rest could suffer, emphasizing that achieving balance is not just desirable but necessary for a fulfilling life.

Ever wondered how saying "no" can actually enrich your life? I explore the power of intentional choices to protect personal time and prioritize self-care. Learn about "intentional congruence," a concept where activities are purposefully aligned to benefit multiple aspects of life simultaneously. From practical tips on eliminating time-consuming habits to the value of outsourcing tasks, I offer actionable advice on trading money for time to enhance productivity and well-being. This episode is packed with insights and strategies to help you achieve a more harmonious work-life balance.

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This show is co-produced by Carter Simoneaux of AcadianaCasts Network, Chaz H. Roberts of Chaz Roberts Law and Kayli Guidry Bonin of Beau The Agency, and Laith Alferahin.

Speaker 1:

Hey everyone, this is Chaz, back again with another episode of Law have Mercy. On today's episode, it will be a solo episode and I'm going to talk about something I'm very passionate about, which is work-life balance, or maybe even the myth of work-life balance. The conversation came up because Kevin, our new attorney, said you know, chaz, I'd really like to hear you talk about your work-life balance. I always admired what I thought that your work-life balance looked like, because you're into so many things. But having worked with you for two months now, I'm like you do a lot more than I even thought you do, and the way you balance it and the way you have systematized it, I think would provide a lot of value to people. So that would be a good subject, and so I'm thinking I'm sitting around, I'm thinking I'm like you know he's right. But work-life balance what is that? A two or three minute talk. I live a balanced life. And then I sat down and I wrote some notes and I have my notes right here and I was like man, I could talk for two hours about it, like the way when I started deconstructing how I approach my life, like there are some really good nuggets that I think I can share with you guys. That may have you rethink the way you do certain things, and so I prepared for it and I'm going to share some of my, my tips and tricks and secrets.

Speaker 1:

So it all starts with me dividing my life sort of into three buckets. I have a family bucket, a health bucket and a wealth bucket. Okay, and so I want to have maintained balance between all three buckets. When one bucket is not filled or addressed, I feel off. I feel off, I feel that I'm lacking somewhere, and then sometimes, when my bucket is too full, I feel off. And so let me kind of explain what I mean about these three buckets.

Speaker 1:

The first bucket is the family bucket. Okay, so that should be pretty obvious. My wife, my kids right, I think family bucket is the most important bucket. I don't think anyone would deny that. But also in my family bucket it's my bigger family, my mother, my siblings, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, friends right, I have a lot of good friends. I've been blessed with an amazing group of friends from far and wide, being from a small town, then going to LSU and then reestablishing my life here in Lafayette. Like I've had so many good friends and I put that sort of in the family bucket.

Speaker 1:

The second bucket is the health bucket. Okay, so that should be pretty obvious too. Health bucket. Okay, so that should be pretty obvious too, what it takes to keep this machine running. Okay, and so that's working out, that's a marathon running, that's weightlifting, my diet, my hobbies.

Speaker 1:

Think about this health bucket. You may not, you may think, well, that's just, you know, going to work on that health bucket, your mental health. And so I think about, well, that's just going to work out in the health bucket, your mental health. And so I think about golf, which is some people would say, well, that's just a hobby. Well, no, it's time away for me to think it's just getting out there, walking in the sunshine, being with friends, hitting a ball, focusing on a singular shot where nothing else in my mind matters. I think about yoga, I think about time I spend reading and I mentioned diet, right, trying to put healthy foods in my body and planning around that you have to put your own oxygen mask on first. Okay, health is so important, you have to put your own oxygen mask on first, because if you can't, so important, you have to put your own oxygen mask on first, because if you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of other people.

Speaker 1:

And finally, the wealth bucket. All right, so that's. I can speak for hours about the wealth bucket. Just one of the lines is like being a lawyer Okay, well, I'm also a business owner. I also have employees. I have hundreds of people that depend on me clients. That's negotiating cases, that's being in court, that's having very difficult conversations with people. Being a boss, being a community leader, creating content for our social media, managing a podcast, managing investments right. So some of the money I've made I've put into other types of investments businesses and stocks and all kinds of other things and rental houses and managing that. That's all the wealth bucket. So I have family bucket, health bucket, wealth bucket. These buckets all have to be serviced. Are all buckets created equal? You may ask yes and no.

Speaker 1:

All right, so is health and wealth on the same magnitude as family?

Speaker 1:

Yes and no? No, I mean, who could ever argue that your family is not the most important thing in the world? But here let me give you a scenario. My dad, okay, he died at 51 years old. He did not dip into his health bucket. So the fact that he passed away at 51 years old. It does not matter how good of a father he was, it does not matter how good of a friend he was, it does not matter how good of an employee he was or how wealthy he was. He's gone because he didn't prioritize his health.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so what I'm saying is, although family is super important, I can make the argument that it's not even as important as your own health, because if you don't take care of yourself, you can die, and it doesn't matter how good of a family member you are because you're not there anymore. Right, let me make an argument for the wealth bucket. Okay, so how could you ever say, chaz, that you know your job and your wealth is as important as your family? Well, I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that, but what I'm saying is hear me out. Working on social media, that's not as important as my family. Podcasting, it's not as important as my family.

Speaker 1:

But when I get a phone call and I have to step out from dinner to take a three-minute, five-minute phone call because a client needs me or somebody just got in a wreck, or something like that, that phone call helps me have that dinner with my family and put nutritious food in their body and go to interesting places to try new foods. Body and go to interesting places to try new foods. And so I've been very fortunate that my family has been very supportive of me and they understand when dad has to take a call, dad has to take a call. It's for all of us right, because that's how I pay for this right and that's how I have this home, this roof over my head. That's how I can put great food in my body. So I'm not saying I'm not comparing just work versus family. I'm saying that they're both super important. Okay, and I and I don't judge myself when I have to step away from my family to do work, because stepping away from my family and do work enables me to have a better family life and spend even more time with them. Work enables me to have a better family life and spend even more time with them.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so harsh reality. Let me tell you something you can overfill a bucket too, all right. So we all know people who are obsessed with working out and they deprioritize their wealth bucket. We've all been to Red Laurel's and we've seen guys there for five, six hours right, their balance is off. Been to Red Laurel's and we've seen guys there for five, six hours. Right, their balance is off. How do they make money? I don't know. A Reds membership only costs, you know, $55 a month, so they can just go there and eat egg whites and chicken breasts and be at Reds all day. They probably something's probably lacking, or maybe it's their social life, their health, their family bucket that's lacking. Right, you can overfill a bucket. Let me tell you a dirty, dirty secret, right? I even felt that my family bucket has been overfilled at times and that sounds so bad. But if you know me, you know how much I love my family.

Speaker 1:

This summer we coached All-Star. I was an assistant coach for All-Star Unbelievable experience. I will remember it for the rest of my life. I coached 20-something practices, eight games, hot sun. We went to the Paragon Casino one weekend to play the district tournament. Everything took a back seat for me to focus on my family, my son doing well and coaching up other kids. I will never, ever regret that. But when that all-star tournament was done and we won state shout out.

Speaker 1:

I knew that I had to shift gears and focus on my health, get back in the gym and focus on my business, because I knew that I was taking time away from my business by spending so much time on my family for that. So I felt overfilled in one particular bucket and I had to start pushing some energy to other areas. Okay so if you are a workaholic and all you do is work, your family life will suffer. Your health will suffer. If all you do is work out, your wealth will suffer. Maybe even your family and friends will suffer. If all you do is spend time with your family, you're really not being a good guardian of them, because part of your responsibility is to take care of yourself, your own health, and take care of financially, set your family up. We all know the story of the guy that gains 25 pounds when he has a baby. Right, they say the dad gets the baby weight too because he's sitting around and he's supporting his family. But that should only be short term. He needs to get back in the gym and take care of himself. Okay, so, now that I explained the sort of the three buckets right, and we want to try to strive to have balance between the three, let me tell you like three ways that I maximize my time and that helps with my work-life balance. Okay, so the first one learn how to say no All right, and I first read it in a book the Power of no and when you learn how to say no, you realize that when you say yes to a thing a commitment, a date, a time showing up somewhere, an obligation when you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to every other thing.

Speaker 1:

You're saying no to every other thing. When I say yes I'm going to go have beers with you at the bar, I am saying no to spending time with my family. I'm saying no to working out. I'm saying no to researching something interesting that I could use in a case. I'm saying no to listening to a podcast that can make me better. I'm saying no to filming a podcast. I'm saying no to a vacation. I'm saying no to everything else.

Speaker 1:

So you really have to be careful with your yeses, right? No should be actually the default. No should be the actual default on things and opportunities that people ask you, and that was something that took me a long time, and once I learned how to say no, it was so liberating because I had so much more time time to do the things that I love. We have to understand time is our most valuable asset and you know, your life will flash before your eyes. You are like Marcus Aurelius said you are a speck of dust in all of eternity. And so do you want to be a yes man that says yes to everyone else and not prioritize yourself? No, well, you got to learn how to say no. Let me give you a very cruel example.

Speaker 1:

I told my wife early on. I said we're going to have all these kids' birthday parties on the weekend. All right. So now I don't know how this became a thing, but kids invite their entire class to every single birthday party, right, they don't want to just invite a few. Our kids are popular. Well, every single weekend there's a bowling alley, birthday party, a jump zone, a surge, all these different places in town, cart ranch, all these different places in town where they have birthday parties and our kids want to go and they want to play and look the honest, which is free entertainment for two hours for our kids. Our kids love it.

Speaker 1:

Why do I need to be there? Why do I need to be there? My weekends are sacred. My weekends are for recharging because I run so hard during the week. My weekends are to do the things that I want to do catch up on life, catch up on personal things. Sit around on the couch, I don't care. It's better than being at a birthday party and having an awkward conversation with another parent who also doesn't want to be there.

Speaker 1:

And, to my wife's credit, she got the message loud and clear. And I don't go to kids' birthday parties. My wife one time said, well, they're not going to come to ours. I said no. I didn't say our kids can't attend. Our kids can attend and they'll always bring a gift. I just don't need to go sit down there for two hours. My kids don't want me there. My kids aren't concerned with me. They're playing with their friends. I don't need to just be sitting there eating pizza and cookie cake and just twilling my thumbs.

Speaker 1:

I got stuff to do. I could go get a workout in. I could start purging my closet. I can go have a coffee with a friend. I could go play golf. I could do whatever. It's a better use of time than that. So it's pretty ruthless.

Speaker 1:

But you got to draw the line in the sand and say my time is sacred and I'm not saying that my time is better than anyone else's time. How you manage your time is your business. I'm just saying that my time is sacred. Okay, and if you say your time is sacred, I'll respect that too, and I completely understand the other way. Number two way I maximize my work-life balance. This is a good one. Intentional congruence. I first heard the concept from Coach Michael Burt, but I always did this intuitively. It's called intentional congruence. What this means is that everything you do feeds into everything else you do. Okay, let me give you an example. It's when something hits all three buckets. I'm going to the New York Marathon in November. I've done it before. I was very blessed to do it, okay. So let me tell you how I hit all three buckets. Number one it's a race. I'm training for the race I'm running on Sundays. That's my health bucket. Okay.

Speaker 1:

Going to New York, I bring my entire family. That's the family bucket we take in the city. We go see the sights. Last time we went to see a Broadway play. We saw MJ the musical, highly recommend. We were total tourists. We went on top of a building. Beth actually had a cousin that was in town. We visited with him. Again, that hits the family bucket. We ate some good food, good restaurants. The kids got to play in Central Park. It was beautiful. The kids got to see me cross the finish line, and so that's inspirational for them to work hard and their own little health buckets. And then like, well, where's the wealth bucket? Come in Chaz. Well, you meet people. You meet people, you meet professional contacts. I was filming content that I was posting on my legal pages. Right Again, my legal pages fall within the wealth bucket because that's my business.

Speaker 1:

After the marathon, I'm worn out. I sit down. We're having a cup of coffee and a cookie at a restaurant. I start talking to the guy next to me, harrison Crum. He has a huge podcast called Crummy Marathoners. Fast forward. We make a connection, we start talking. I'm on his podcast.

Speaker 1:

A couple months later, I'm talking about personal injury law on a running podcast. People are now following me and associating me with the running marathoning. Personal injury lawyer, right. So I checked all three buckets at one trip. That's intentional congruence. Everything feeds into everything. Running groups, all right. So every Sunday I run with a group of guys. We talk family, we talk life. They're business owners. We talk business while we're running All right, intentional congruence.

Speaker 1:

Everyone else is sleeping. We're running at 4.30, 5 o'clock in the morning. We're not missing anything. My family is sound asleep, we're not missing any activities. We're running, doing something for our health and we're talking business. We're doing something for our wealth. My family's taken care of right.

Speaker 1:

We started, kevin and I. Our kids play soccer for crew, okay, so from 5.30 to 7, you go, you sit and they're being like I'm not gonna say professionally coach, but there are designated coaches that are not parents. So professionally coach, I say, kevin, why don't we run while this is going on and why don't we invite other guys to join us in our running? So we do so Monday, wednesday something that most people used to dread because you're going and bringing your kids to soccer practice, so most people are just playing on their phone. Kevin and I go run and while we're running we talk about our business. We talk about legal cases, we start talking about breaking down certain cases that he's dealing with and that I'm dealing with, all right, and then our maybe is just to catch up because all we did was talk business that day.

Speaker 1:

So my wife is home with my other son spending quality time together. My wife is cooking a nutritious meal. My other son is being trained. My wife is cooking a nutritious meal. My other son is being trained, I'm running and I'm getting better, and I'm spending time with my law partner talking about cases. What can be better than that? That is intentional congruence.

Speaker 1:

Let me give you one more Golf. Let's just say you're a golfer. That's a big time suck you. You're talking at four to five hours, but it does hit certain things. Like I was talking about earlier, there is some type of the mental clarity, the physical component. How do you maximize that time? You get the three best friends that you haven't seen in a long time and you bring them play golf. Or you get three business associates that you're interested in doing business with and have them on the golf course play golf Intentional congruence. Or you bring your son play golf with you. Now you're hitting the family bucket and the health bucket right Intentional congruence.

Speaker 1:

The third thing that I do to maximize my work-life balance is I gave up alcohol. I had a friend tell me once you can't hoot with the owls and soar with the eagles eagles, okay. You cannot stay up all night drinking and expect to be 100% on your A game the next day. You can't do it. I know people that don't even get hungover. They still can't do it, okay, just from lack of sleep let's say they're not even hungover just from lack of sleep.

Speaker 1:

Giving up alcohol and I've done it over four years ago was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. It got me my time back. You know, there was no moment where I was arrested and hit rock bottom and said, oh man, you got to give up alcohol. It was the fact that the hangovers got worse. But I realized that I had too much on my plate and I wanted so much out of life that I couldn't keep handicapping myself with hangovers. All right, I didn't. I didn't. I enjoy drinking. I was good at it. All right, I was fun.

Speaker 1:

The inhibitions that I normally have, the little bit of the social awkwardness that I have because I'm so intense, sometimes went away. People loved me when I was drinking, right. But the next morning I wasn't worth the crap and the next day after that I was still only at 80%. It's 365 days in a year. If you are less than 100% for, let's say, two and a half days, that's 130 days that you're incapacitated. That's a third of the year, right. And so I just have too much on my plate to handicap myself with alcohol. Too much on my plate to handicap myself with alcohol. I need to use every single day to achieve my goals that I have for my three buckets my family, my health, my wealth. I'm not judgmental. I'm in Southwest Louisiana. All of my family drinks, all of my friends drink. It was just a personal decision that I made out of necessity to do the best I can and get the most out of each day.

Speaker 1:

Here's a bonus how to get more time? This is ad lib. But how to get more time? This is ad lib. But how to get more time, you got to hire people. So if you're in a business, obviously you hire people to help you. But if you don't own a business, how much time are you spending cutting grass? How much time are you spending washing your vehicles? How much time are you spending washing your vehicles? How much time are you spending going to the grocery store and cooking? Is there a healthy option that you can get? To go? Right, you have to use your money to buy yourself time.

Speaker 1:

Okay, now I was talking to Kevin. Kevin loves cutting his grass. Kevin loves washing his vehicles. That's his own intentional congruence. What he does is he uses his cutting grass time as a workout. He pushes it. So he's out there in the sun sweating. His kids see him working, so he's hitting the family bucket. He takes pride and it's a mental clarity. Seeing this looked like crap before. Now it looks beautiful, right. So there's a way that he's using that as an intentional congruence. He's saving money, right, and that's okay.

Speaker 1:

It's not the same for everyone, but for me, I enjoy hiring someone to do it to buy me more time. So you know we trade time for money. At some point in life you want to trade money for time because you only have so much of it. It's the only thing that's truly priceless, and so to me, my bonus way of work-life balance is you got to learn how to spend money in certain things to buy yourself more time. My advice to everyone as we wrap up is start looking at your life in those three buckets Health, wealth, family.

Speaker 1:

I've also given you some tools to maximize the intentional congruence. Find ways that you can hit all the buckets with one item, with one task. How many buckets can I hit? It's a game you might enjoy it. Learn how to say no. Consider giving up bad habits in your life. I'm not even going to say alcohol, you know, maybe it's you scroll on the Internet too long, you're on Facebook too long, you're on Instagram too long. Maybe you have a different addiction that's eating up your time. Right, figure out how to buy some of your time back. And the last thing is learn how to hire some people to help you with certain things. This is what I do. I'm not perfect. I hope you can get some value from it. I'm interested to hear any feedback you have. Hope you have a great one, thanks.

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Chaz Roberts

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